I read a lot of Buddhist articles, discussions and things on the internet and in books. Many of them seem to say that renunciation (either physical or mental) of worldly possessions, hobbies and interests, singing and dancing, family ties, friendships, work etc is advisable in order to progress spiritually. I'm really struggling with this at the moment.
I recently posted this on the Buddhist thread of the website Allexperts, where you can ask questions to more experienced Buddhists, and see what they say.
What is the real difference between the "worldly" life and the "spiritual" life? Most things I read seem to regard the so-called "worldly" life with contempt. What is this worldly life?
Is it chasing after money and fortune (which I do not do)?
Is it wanting a loving relationship (which I do, but how going to a monastery would help with that I do not know. Also - I do not particularly wish to renounce my desire for a loving relationship - to love and be loved seems pretty natural and human to me)?
Is it fulfilling a role in the family, thus providing love and support to those around (which I do, which I am happy to do, and which brings me and my family members around me love, security and enjoyment)?
Is it listening to music (which I do - I think Beethoven's 9th symphony is the greatest piece of music ever composed and I think, as many people before me have thought, that it contains elements of the divine. The title is "Ode to Joy" and the words go like this: "All men become brothers." Is this an ill-inducing worldly pleasure?
How about dancing and singing? I have sung in choirs before, and one of the most powerful and beautiful experiences of my life was singing in the chorus of Beethoven's 9th symphony. Over one hundred human beings, each in his / her own private world, coming together to create a harmony, singing about all men becoming brothers.... is this a worldly pleasure that it would be best to renounce?
Or perhaps it's work. I am a language teacher. Would it be conducive to my happiness to renounce this? Languages, changeable and unreliable as they are (yes, I know that important feelings and concepts cannot be defined in words), are also incredibly beautiful. Listen to lines of Pablo Neruda's poetry (though it's nicer written in Spanish!): "I do not love you as the plant that never blooms, but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers" and tell me that poetic creation is just another human foible, a worldly pleasure to be renounced!
Is it friendship with non-Buddhists? I've read many accounts of people renouncing their friends to pursue something "higher", more spiritual. I have a wide circle of friends, some of whom I feel a deep connection with. With the closest of my friends, I can talk about more or less anything. We can sit in silence and be completely at ease. We can often understand each other without having to say anything at all. We can laugh for no reason. These are probably just meaningless worldly delusions that should be given up for something better.
I realise that most people will say that the choice between the spiritual and worldly life is just that, a choice, and that I needn't feel bad or attacked because there's no creator god or any person attacking me or whatever. However, I get the feeling that this is the Buddhist message: "you have a choice - either follow the spiritual path and become happier and enlightened, or continue down the worldly path and be miserable and suffer more. it's your choice, nobody's telling you what to do, but just remember that one direction will make you miserable and the other will make you happy. you won't be condemned to eternal suffering or anything like in other religions, just a few more lifetimes of misery. it's your choice!" - I feel like that isn't a choice at all. it sounds to me like a softer, more intelligent, more persuasive and perhaps manipulative version of the Christian "do this or go to hell" commandments. Basically a very similar concept, just worded in a more rhetorical way.
Also, with regard to the things I mentioned above (family, music, friends etc) - I don't mean to say that these things will bring me permanent and lasting happiness. I know that listening to Beethoven's 9th symphony ten times in a row would lead me to boredom with it. And that's fine. I've never wanted to listen to it ten times. I know that my parents will die one day. This is sad but I can accept it. Friendships sometimes fall apart.
So, tell me that these things are to be renounced, and I'll give it some consideration.
5 days ago
Hey Kate,
ReplyDeleteThe bear's lovely! I've got a couple sitting here looking at me now, both quite similar to yours. What's his name?
Anyone, I'm by NO MEANS an experienced Buddhist, but I thought I'd give you my take on what you've written. Bear (hehe) in mind this is my take, not the 'official' (if there is such a thing( Buddhist line. But I don't care.
I think the important part of your question is about spiritual 'progress'. So to me, this doesn't mean you have to give up your worldy pleasure forever, but if you want to progress you have to for a while, or a least from time to time. Why? Because they distract us, and they nullify our desire to progress. Try this. Buy a lovely piece of chocolate gateaux. Put it on your table and promise it to yourself when you've finished meditating. Now see how much you thing about the cake when you're meditating.
I'm kinda joking, but it's also not far I think from the truth. Another more serious example. When I was in therapy I was so depressed that I was considering taking antidepressants. I didn't want to, and my therapist didn't want me to (although she was close to advising it because this was her duty of care). But the point is, if I'd taken them they would pretty much have destroyed my therapy. Because I would have been 'happy', albeit artifically. So I wouldn't have been able to access the painful emotions that I needed to for therapy to work. Thankfully I never took them.
I agree with you when you say you find it hard to accept that we're supposed to give up the idea of having a loving relationship etc. Maybe the 'hardcore' Buddhists do, and indeed I know some leave their partners to live a solitary life. It's their choice, but not one I'd ever choose.
I try to indulge my pleasures knowingly, so as not to become reliant on them, and lastly, remember that a lot of people in the world still, even unknowingly, come from a Christian background of 'suffering', and there are a lot of f*cked up people around Buddhism and all this kind of stuff, so don't let all this 'you must suffer' stuff get to you. Indeed, suffering is a part of growing, but it's not intented as a way of life. Buddism's supposed to be about happiness!
Or ha penis as they may say in France....
MikeyT
Allo MikeyT, lol.
ReplyDeletethanks for your message. important things first: the bear's name is, well, The Bear. he's transcended the ego boundaries and consequently doesn't need an identity to feel fully human, or indeed ursine.
I guess you're right about having to give up worldly pleasures and so on temporarily to practise meditation. Music, singing, poetry, friends, family etc are of course distractions whilst meditating. It's just when I read or hear people say these things are "simple worldly distractions from seeing through to the nature of reality", the word "distraction" has a really negative sense and I somehow feel attacked for enjoying these parts of life.
I guess I sometimes feel as though there's a false boundary that's somehow been set up between the "worldly" and the "spiritual". I see my family and friends as important and meaningful parts of my life. Is that spiritual or worldly?! I have some issues with the word "spiritual" as well, as it conjures up ghosts and gods and, well, spirits. Not something I'm especially interested in!
Oh fuck it, I dunno. I'm going to bed. Night night! :-)
The Buddha would not have suggested that you renounce any of the things you mentioned; renounce acting in immoral ways.
ReplyDelete